Happy New Year

I spent the day after my children left drinking and laying around feeling sorry for myself. Ok, drinking is an understatement... more like drowning. For the first time, I truly understood alcoholism. Granted, Ive spent my fair share of time drinking, but I have never just sat and drank myself into a stupor, alone... nor understood those who did. Ive decided it makes it worse, not better... however, if we're all honest with ourselves, sometimes we need to spend some time in the land of depression. One day is quite enough for me though.

So, in an attempt to get out and assist my hungover self back to the real world... I learned something new. Cross country skiing, which is completely fantastic. The coastal trail here is beautiful, miles of mud flats and frozen ocean, and you can see across to Knik arm (I think that's what its called) on clear days. The mountains are off in the distance, and right now the sun never gets higher than 'sunset' so the trees, covered in ice, are washed in yellows and purples and pinks. The snow muffles everything, so its serene and quiet, peaceful.

This kind of skiing however, I would compare to running on the snow... its a better workout than jogging at least... so takes away from the serenity slightly. Its hard work! But very satisfying. The first day I went, it was -6 out. I have some good snow gear, but frankly would have been happy in shorts and a sweatshirt after about an hour. The problem is, you get all hot and sweaty, but cant stop because your sweat will freeze. So there is minimal resting. My eyelashes had crystals on the tips, and a few men that went skiing by me had frosty beards. I managed to stay on my feet the whole time, and after asking some 'professionals' for a few tips, actually got pretty good at it. There was this one hill though... had a rough time going up... but came down slope-style... thinking 'oh shit' the whole way, as there was a big curve at the bottom that if I didnt get around I would find myself sailing off the edge and into the mudflats... I was fine, but had quite the scare. Shut up, Ive never skied before.

I finally found a roomate, compliments of craigslist. I'll be staying in mid-town Anchorage, in a little condo on the third floor. My room has a fantastic view. My roomate showed up from Boston several years ago with a backpack on vacation, and said he loved the state so much he couldnt leave. I think that makes him crazy. He makes candles/incense/bath salts etc. for a living, so to say the least I will be having a very aromatic life...

Really, the past week has consisted of cooking, playing my guitar, and cuddling Spc Steve's wife's cat Jack. I did go out for New Years Eve, which was fairly uneventful, but fun... typical NYE festivities, although I must say falling down in the snow in sub-zero temps is not nearly as giggle-producing as it tends to be in warmer places... yet happens significantly more often, as heels and ice dont mix.

My children seem to be enjoying being back in Kansas with their slew of friends and family, and A certainly is glad to be back. So as long as they're happy, I can convince myself to be, or at least fake it until I am. I only have 6 weeks anyway, until life will be so drastically different it will be hard to miss anything specifically... I think 'normalcy' all just clumps together and becomes one big thing that you miss, encompassing everything else.

Im looking forward to 2009, as strange as that may seem. I am anxious for this deployment, but I want to go. So even though getting into the new year has been a bit of a heartache, and despite the assurance that the coming year will be filled with equal heartache, plus some... I know it will also be full of change, growth, discovery, adventure, trials... all the things I thrive off of. And for the first New Year of my life, I am not just hoping for an interesting year... but am guaranteed of one. I dont need a 'resolution' for how Im going to change my life, because this year, life is going to change me.

Happy New Year!