OUCH!!!

Day 1 of tower week. Someone shoot me, or feed me rat poison... that would be less painful...

The day started off with a fantastic 4 mile group run. It was a great pace, and while hot and humid as always, I really enjoyed the cadences and the energy level and I was all pumped up, particularly for a Monday.



I have decided my least favorite thing about airborne, by the way, is the jog back from the chow hall after breakfast. This happens to be my favorite meal and after good pt, I'm always starving, so I eat up! Somehow everyday I convince myself that maybe, just maybe, the shuffle back to the barracks wont feel as long or wont make me want to ralph all over my boots. And everyday, I am wrong. I hate that stupid run.



It made heat cat 5 early, making for an incredibly hot and sweaty day. But I'm getting used to the constant sweat rolling down my back and face, and dripping from the creases of my elbows (random, I know, its just so weird to me..)



We started with SH2, which I have no idea what that stands for, I stopped asking about the acronyms and just go with it... basically learning which sets of risers to pull to steer the parachute. Its actually a really fun little contraption that you hook your harness up to, but also I think another excuse for Sgt Airborne to make us do an unbelievable amount of pull-ups.






Then..... SLT, this one I know... its the "Swing Landing Trainer." Aka, torture. They put you on this 12 foot platform, and strap you to mock-risers. You "swing" off, drop off really, and Sgt Airborne gives you a direction to fall... then randomly drops you. You don't know exactly when its coming, you aren't allowed to look at the ground, and you are expected to execute an amazing PLF. Which, again, to the left side... I can do. No problem, nailed them every time. I even got pretty good at right-front and right side. Then, the very last one... right-rear. Ah haaaa... Soooo not cool. My body doesn't appreciate falling backwards. Not. One. Bit. For whatever reason, I have a complete mental block when falling back and to the right. First try, I didn't angle my feet right and landed flat on my back, and smashed my head into the ground... who am I kidding, I smashed my head in every single time. Like, I think I have a dent in the back of it. I must have tried this direction 20 effing times, occasionally landing ass first, or flat on my back... I think I even bounced once.

I, in fact, became the very last person in my platoon to get it... which, those of you familiar with the type-A part of my personality, know that this is more disturbing to me than grinding my bones into the pit repeatedly. So by the end of it, my entire platoon is sitting around watching, and I can hear them gasp and groan each time my head slams into the damn gravel. As I'm peeling my body out of the pit after I missed my feet altogether one time, I hear one of the Sgts say "Damn I didn't think she was going to get up after that one." Nice. I finally get it, and amongst the encouraging comments, several people ask if I'm broke, can I see straight, etc. etc. Sgt Airborne says he guesses he'll have to teach me to rotate my chute so I always come down to the left. Yes, please!! One of the Sgts tells me he's never seen someone fall that hard so many times and still walk back to the barracks. I'm not going to lie, several times I thought.. no, I'm not going to get up this time, Ill just sleep here.

McCaslin warned me about the SLT... he even text me the day he did it and said "You cant tell me God exists when I'm in this much pain." He must have missed the 2400 mg of ibuprofen that's making my body happy right now... :)

So, now...new experience #451... I have been beat to shit by the ground. Let me tell you, hands down, it wins.

And I'm fairly sure my skull is no longer in one piece, my knees no longer have ligaments attached to anything, my hip is probably permanently on strike, and my already hurt foot has decided to stop protesting and just lay back and take it... oh, and riser burn on the hands, riser-hickies on the neck, harness bruises in places that should never be bruised (I cant imagine how the guys are feeling right now!!!) my neck has been whip lashed into the ground as well as my own body... yes I bit my tongue twice... there is not one single inch of me that is not in some sort of pain. Excuse me while I whine, but OWEEEEEE!!!!

However, while painful, the SLT was loads of fun... that 12 foot drop (minus the smashing into the ground part) is better than whatever roller coaster. Partly because of the drop, partly because the human at the other end of the rope has complete control, and as we know humans are capable of mishap... just the knowledge alone that Sgt Airborne may just decide to let go of the rope at an inopportune time... well, that's good for an adrenaline rush any day. But, then again, he lets go of the damn thing without fail, and when really is an opportune time for the inevitable crunch that always follows...