Hump Day

Today began with a 3.2 mile AGR (ability group run) which I hate. Passionately. So I get in the front hoping I can be the pace setter... sometimes it works... not so much today. Sgt Airborne paces and its actually a pretty nice pace for the first two or so miles... then some random ass Sgt Airborne takes over. Da Da Duh... he starts off by saying "I was late, so I got stuck having to run with you dumb asses." Hooo--ah?? Sprinting, we were. About 3/4 of a mile until the 1st Sgt spotted this crazy man and told him to slow the hell down because everyone fell out... As Im resisting the urge to puke, I glance over my shoulder and see a trail of about 50 people falling off around the curves of the path... and notice that of the entire formation that started out with us, there's maybe 12 left. Ok, well the nausea is so worth that. We shuffle it in to finish and proceed to get the little remaining energy we have smoked out of us because this shitbag black hat doesnt know how to show up to work on time. Nonetheless, I was dripping sweat but smiling as we double-timed back to Alpha company.
The rest of the day consisted of PLFing. Over and over and over. We climb up on this platform and hang onto a little handle suspended from the zipline about 12 feet up... we slide, Sgt Airborne says Land, and we let go. Various crunching and banging and thudding follows. For seven hours we keep this up. Seven. In line, we do these funny little PLF drills which mimic pulling a riser and the body position we are to fall in. However, this drill has to be done in order to move down the line, so it has a fantastic little bunny hop -feet and knees together- of course. After about 2000 of these, no Im not exaggerating, we all start looking like cracked-out wannabe bunnies, in dirty sweaty ACUs and brain buckets that smell like wet dog. Im fairly sure my feet and knees are incapable of coming apart now, and if I have to jump, hop, or think about either one more time Im going to wig out. Literally for all seven of the PLF hours, if we werent falling, we were hop hop hopping. In the gravel pit mind you. Gravel, thats damn near worse than sand for walking, running, or... hopping.
How am I at PLFing you might be wondering. Well... on the left side, left front, left back... anything in the general left direction... Im fantastic. I can fall like a pro and it doesnt hurt. Aside of the fact that the stupid helmet is heavy as hell so my neck feels like Id rather cut my head off than move it, on the left Im perfectly fine. Its that right side... for some reason my brain cant comprehend why on earth my body would ever want to fall right. I think it comes from being a lefty in gymnastics... left is natural for my body, it knows what to do with that. But right, hell no. I slammed my head into the gravel, elbows, knees, straight on my ass... then after finally getting right and right-front down for the two satisfactory (not beautiful, mind you) required executions.. we move on to right-back. Sliding backwards and falling backwards in a direction that your body has already CLEARLY stated it does not wish to go, is not exactly the greatest plan. Right-back is why my body feels like several cars ran over it... not like the "ooops, I just ran over a cat" kind either.. but the "hey look theres a snake in the road lets see if we can get the wheel to stop right on its head... oops missed, reverse, try again.. nope, not that time, try again..." (yes, these occurances happened in my life as a child...) Today, I have sympathy for all the snakes that met my father and grandfather on the road.
BUT... all is good because its hump day, which means Im over halfway done with ground week... yay!!